OntheWilderSide

Women are not safe.
We are stunned.

Our human rights were squashed.
People measured and deliberated and reminded us that it has happened to other people before.
Politicians, including Democratic officials, postured and bandaged the edges and
left us here in our state of shock and oppression.
Around the country, in little pockets, laws are being changed to hurt us more and faster. Innocent women
are being prosecuted. Their mothers are being shamed, and prosecuted, and harassed.
Bad guys and backwards, old fashioned patriarchs are testing what else they can possibly do to women,
now that we are on the ground, foot on our necks, weakened.

It is not time to rest on laurels.
It is not time to get one law passed, or distract
America solving this little problem or that little problem.

It is time to stack the Supreme Court.
It is time to impeach the cheaters on the Supreme Court.
It is time to work each day
on how to solve this simmering problem.
It is time to listen to women,
even when they are choking on fear and silence.

*

By Kimberly Wilder

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(First draft. A poem that is bubbling up in me this morning. -KW)

What Is Lost

Please help me.
There is so much work to do.
I am forgetting to assert my dignity each day.
They have made a decree to take my rights away.
I am tired.
My dignity is fading away.
My subjugation is melting into the fabric of America.
Into the fabric of American injustice.

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In order to bring attention to the 2022 tragic anti-Roe v Wade decision, and join with other calls for justice, Strike for America has called for a day of action on July 13th. You can stay home from work, buy-nothing, and/or wear black. Just let’s show how unhappy we are with the Supreme Court and the current state of affairs! Thanks Kimberly

*

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Fighting for a woman’s right to her own, bodily autonomy.

My journal entry:

Roe Journal
Kimberly Wilder
July 1, 2022

I have a cold. I feel somewhat defeated.

I had wanted to do a real action in the real world each day. Though, that would have been very tough.

At least I took a bold, self-directed action. I started my own FaceBook Page: Roe Boycotts Go Nuclear. The goal is to try to make sure people know dates for proposed actions, boycotts, rallies, etc.

The FB group I joined which has more than 40,000 people is on pause. Basically, it has growing pains. I hope the admins can keep it together. Because, 40,000 of anything, no less human beings who agree on a political issue, is very good.

Let’s keep up the fight for women’s rights! (And, let’s be kind to each other in the process.)

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Kimberly Wilder’s Roe Journal

Day Seven
(I count the first day. June 24^th, because I was at a protest that evening.)

_______________________________________________________________________

One of the conversations at Roe v Wade events, is how we can’t believe we have all done so much – and felt so much – in so few days.

This morning, I woke up worrying first about Covid and then about The Supreme Court.

Last night (Wednesday, June 29^th), I went to a rally at The Suffolk County Supreme Court here in Riverhead. It was good to be with other people. Though, as someone else noted, there was a little bit less energy and sense of satisfaction. Some of the reasons were: our group faced inward towards the court steps; the street was cordoned off, so very few passers by could see our numbers; it was heavy on speeches (many by candidates); and, it was organized by local Democratic Party committees. On the bright side for me: There was a small amount of heckling of what the Democratic Party has not done; We got to commune with like-minded people; We got to chant; And, we got to hold signs and yell about how bad The Supreme Court is.

In the morning, my little girl graduated from UPK, Universal (free) Pre-Kindergarten. There was so much happiness. Still, I decided I had to turn my back on the national anthem – no matter how festive the occasion and how much I wanted to see a child performer sing it. I just stood discretely near the back of the crowd and turned around. In that moment, I decided that I had to keep to my truth and I had to honor the women who I have been discussing these actions with online. We spent a lot of time debating if we would take a knee or turn our backs. I wasn’t going to let the whole conversation be for naught.

It is almost comical to me that the students sang “I am proud to be an American…” by Lee Greenwood. I have always sung it as, “I am proud to be an American, where at least I THINK I’m free.” This week, I have modified my satire to be, “I am proud to be an American, where at least WHITE MEN are free.” Oh, well.

Last night, the group of 43,000 plus women who have found each other on FaceBook made a big announcement. On July 13th, we will hold a boycott. It is something like “Buy Nothing Day.” Women and allies will do their best to spend no money and do no work.

I am glad to be part of a well-planned project. I am looking forward to July 13^th and to seeing any results or media attention the next day.

I saw a headline about Ketanji Brown Jackson being inducted into The Supreme Court today. For a fleeting moment, I thought that Biden and The Democrats had started to pack the court. As you may know, they have not been that strong and brave yet.

My journal must include that one of my cousins passed away. She was 61 years old. I feel an extra sense of loss, because, our family is very matriarchal, and the women get to see each other for many weddings and baby showers. She was very good and kind, and will be remembered by a very big and loving family.

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When the monster comes in your dreams what do you do?
Do you run?
Don’t run.
The monster will catch you.
Your life will be done.

When the monster comes in your dreams what do you do?
Do you hide?
Don’t hide.
And, don’t try to speak.
The monster destroys those who are weak.

When the monster comes should you fight?
Don’t fight.
The optics will not seem right.
A glimpse of the monster spells out your end.
Dead or alive, you will be condemned.

When the monster came what did you do?
You left your bed.
You started to run.
You know how it ended.
The monster won.

And then, the monster planted a gun.

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“I send you greetings from afar.” That is the opening salvo I have thought of to try to engage neighbors and unsuspecting strangers I encounter at the park during the current state of crisis and stay-at-home orders.

Health advisers and our government are telling us to stay in our homes and to avoid physical contact with other people. And, I am trying, dutifully, to do my part. Though, human beings are social creatures. It is so hard to go through the day with my only contact being my husband (who is often working from home) and my two-year-old.

In the past, at the supermarket, I might smile at someone who crossed my path. Or, I might even start a conversation with someone who was buying the same odd brand of bread as myself. Now, as soon as I encounter another shopper, there are so many questions and fears running through my mind, I often forget to even smile. How am I supposed to figure out the dance of which way to step aside, when I am thinking about if they could be sick, if they think I might be sick, if I should have put brighter lipstick on to look healthy and put people at ease, and how am I ever going to suppress this cough?

When I take my daughter for a walk in our neighborhood, I have similar feelings, sometimes made more awkward by the fact that there are some people who you kind of know and usually stop to chat with. Is it safe to talk now? How will they know that you are not going to foolheartedly walk up to the beginning of their driveway (much closer than 6 feet away from them) like you have in the past?

On neighborhood walks, and at walks through the park, I started to notice a lot of feelings when I saw someone approaching me. One feeling is just desperation to connect and to chat with another human being. Another feelings is not wanting to frighten that other person by taking a step in his or her direction. How will she know, that I know, and that I respect the fact, that I have to stay 6 feet away?

So, as I encountered people, I started to feel words well up in me, and an urgency to shout to them. It is like two boats passing in quiet waters. You want to acknowledge their presence and to see if they want to exchange pleasantries. The words I felt I needed were simple words, to be shouted out in a hopeful manner. I was longing to say something between “Land Ho” and the words of an Easter sermon I heard, describing the back and forth call of Christians of old at Easter.

So, I tried to see if I could figure out these words and if they could be a useful, new, social contract for people during the quarantine. When you are walking around at the supermarket, or your block, or a park, you would call out to someone from 7 feet away (a hint, that you know you have to stay far away): “I send you greetings from afar”. And, the person, showing that they, too, are interested in pleasantries – and that they, too, understand the 6 foot social distancing rule and promise not to get too close to you – could shout back, “I thank you and accept from a distance…” followed by the start of a shouted conversation.

Can you picture it? Could you do it? Or, maybe the words need some refining before being put into general use…

I send you greetings from afar!

I thank you and accept from a distance!

To me, it sounds like the start of the kind of warm, friendly exchange that we need more of during quarantine. When I posted my idea to FaceBook, a friend’s adult son said it sounded like the Vulcan salutation: “Live long and prosper” which can be followed by the answer, “Peace and long life.” I would not mind people going around saying those words, either. I would just enjoy something to say to ease the tension of life under quarantine and to reach out to the other people stuck here in it with me.

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COVID 19, The Coronavirus, has become part of our daily lives.

Like so many other people, I have decided to start writing and blogging again, as a result of all of my feelings and all of the time I have.Some things that have changed for me, due to the current crisis and quarantine…

So far, two of my friends have lost relatives. And, it is so sad to think that there cannot be a funeral at this time.

My mother and father are very “holed up” a few towns over. So, I can’t see them as much, celebrate family birthday parties, or take my toddler to see them.

I am not able to take my toddler to library classes or any special events.

I am not able to take my toddler to the Long Island Aquarium or the children’s bouncy play center we used to frequent.

I am stuck in the house a lot of the day with a bored toddler, trying to create activities and tasks, but also trying to create structure for our day and meaning for our daily life.

[For resources for supporting your toddler during quarantine, please see bottom of this post]

We have learned to do several kinds of video chatting, to try to catch virtual glimpses of family and old playmates. It works a little to feel connected. Though, at 2-and-a-half, there will be a few times during the call when she gets confused and asks to go to people’s homes. Sometimes crying.

Grocery shopping is frightening, even though we don’t take the toddler with us anymore. And, it is worse when there are ridiculous people with too many masks and gloves and vibes of utter fear.

I have become so desperate and needy for human company, that I pounce on any neighbors I see outside with very long, shouted conversations from across the street. When the local utility company sent a man in a van around to change our meters, I talked him up like he was a long lost friend.

One thing that has remained the same — but intensified to a frightening extent — is my love for pizza. Sure, our family used to have pizza one or two times a week, because there is a Sunday through Wednesday special. And, who doesn’t love a break from cooking? Though now, I think it is like pizza 3 times a week, and dinner on Fridays. And, if I go in to pick up the food, I gush over the owner and thank him over and over again for staying open.

I really can’t believe that I can’t buy paper towels and toilet paper, but I can buy pizza. At least that is something to be happy about.

Stay safe. Stay home (except to get fresh air on walks or outings to the park, using careful, social/physical distancing.)

Kind Regards,

Kimberly Wilder

Resources for families with toddlers during this COVID-19 crisis and quarantine:

Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County
http://ccesuffolk.org/
(Cornell Cooperative is where I found the other links below.)

“Parenting in the time of coronavirus and social distancing”
First Things website

“Five Tips to Make the Most of Video Chats”
Zero to Three website
The Zero to Three website had a wealth of information about very young children. A lot of other articles that say they address children and the Coronavirus seem to be aimed at four-year-olds and up, or even just school age children. I was so happy to find this site to help with questions relating to my two-year-old. It is very difficult to keep a 2-year-old interested in a video chat.

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This page has information, ideas, and lists to help you run for office. http://www.onthewilderside.com/elections/

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