OntheWilderSide

Ian’s father, Julian Wilder, passed away 10 years ago today.  And the time of year seems particularly appropriate to talk about Julian.  He loved the Passover Seder dinner time service.  He enjoyed leading the service in the 1960’s sweet wine-stained, “Maxwell House” Haggadah prayer book.  He loved sharing our family traditions with guests.  Especially children. He enjoyed the leader’s responsibility to hide the Afikomen dessert matzoh and negotiating with the child who found it .  He especially loved the large Seder meal my mother, Carole, would make.  That the dishes were a combination of handed-down family family traditions like home-made dill-spiced matzoh ball soup, and new family traditions like a sliced black radish. In later years, he would be so filled up on his wife’s soup with knadela and appetizers that he had no room left for the entree.

My parents had many friends.  It took me decades to realize that race did not exist for his parents.  They thought of people by their relationships (friends), not by their appearance.  Julian did harbor a life-long anger at the Japanese and German peoples for the crimes against humanity their country’s committed during World War II, as did many of his fellow veterans.  He would not buy a car made in either country.  This never translated into prejudice.  He told me the story of being in Japan shortly after the war ended.  He was travelling through the country by train.  When he got off the train at his stop, he saw a Japanese child with his stomach distended from hunger.  Julian realized that should never be, and and made a vow to help children.  On that day he decided to become a teacher when he returned to the US.  He did.  First teaching children, and then instilling the love of teaching in the children’s teachers.  Read more »

Filed under: News, personal, poetry | Tagged: Adelphi University, family, John Gillespie Magee, Julian Wilder, Passover Seder, Professor, teacher | 2 Comments »